Whitney: I’ll be home tomorrow.
Whitney’s Mom: I thought tonight!? I told the dogs tonight.

David: Hang on, i’m coming.
David’s Dad: In public?

Jamie’s Mom: You know how the back fat is muffin top, what is the arm fat called?
Jamie: Who is this about?
Jamie’s Mom: Some of the actresses have that fat working.

Erin’s Mom: Alive?
Erin: No.
Erin’s Mom: Uh Oh!

Anthony’s Mom: Answer the phone
Anthony: Can’t right now.
Anthony’s Mom: Why? R u in the middle of sex?
Anthony: Stop being weird

Andrea’s Dad: You don’t have to pretend you’re at church right now. Answer your phone. Even your mom said it was ok to skip with a gold medal hockey game on.

Maggie’s Mom: Can’t believe he picked Vienna! What a scag.

Andrea’s Mom: Call me when you’re finished with your meeting.
Andrea: I told you I was going on a date…not to a meeting.
Andrea’s Mom: Well, you get so upset when I call a guy you just started dating your boyfriend that I figured you wouldn’t call a first date a date.

Grace’s Aunt: The only thing worse than having a boyfriend is having a POOR boyfriend

Amber’s Dad: Something about listening to the Black Eyed Peas’ music makes me want to fart.

AnnaRose’s Dad: Dad: My friends want to know whats the new term for “bitches”?
AnnaRose: Uhhh… can you use it in a sentence?
AnnaRose’s Dad: Shut up you bitches.
AnnaRose’s Dad: For a bunch of guys.

Kaitlin’s Mom: if they stole your alcohol, i would hide the rest of your valuables in a safe place. did i just put alcohol under the category of valuables? yikes