Torie’s Mom: Tor, I was listening to snoop dogg in the car today and he kept talking about chronic. Can’t access urbandictionary from my blackberry now… Can you tell me what it is? Thx, Mom

Jaclyn’s Dad: Poor kid, I heard how you fell while running this morning! If you had skype at work I could give you a long distance hug! Hope the rest of your day is good. Love you, Dad

Anonymous’ Mom: Grandma said she’d give you $200 to go shopping and buy stuff that makes you look more feminine.

Jennifer’s Mom: doesn’t “creepin’” mean cheating on your boo?

Donny’s Mom: OMGGGG! ROFL
Donny: Please act your age and not your shoe size.
Donny’s Mom: Ur AcTiNg Ur LiKe Ur WaIsT sIzE

Eric: Hey pops, did you watch the pro bowl?
Eric’s Dad: I wouldn’t watch the pro bowl if they played it in our front yard.

Vin’s Mom: I need an app that allows me to send you hugs and kisses whenever you’re down in the dumps.

Teresa’s Mom: If you keep complaining about your car I’m going to buy you a recalled toyota.

Brooke’s Mom: You should become an astronaut.

Brooke: LOL why would I do that?

Brooke’s Mom: Because everyone likes astronauts and right about now that’s not the case.

Benjamin’s Mom: Instead of listening to qtip you should start using qtips on those ears of yours.

Kevin’s Mom: Between you and your father I could weave an area rug with all the body hair I just swept up. Particularly short and curly ones.

Kevin: Nobody’s stopping you.

Regina’s Grandma: If Lady Gaga is making hit music videos, you need to try harder.