Hanna’s Mom: Your dad’s nipple hair is so long I swear it can reach his pubic hair.

Alex: According to Tim Gunn, the biggest male faux paus is the “dad” jean: high waisted, acid washed jeans. I think that I may live with an offender and you’re it.

Alex’s Dad: Timmy Gunn is full of bullshit.

Trey’s Dad: Sometimes I fold the toilet paper after I use it into the fold that hotels use – you know the little trapezoid so you know it’s a fresh roll? I think it leaves a little class behind.

Erin: Can’t wait to see you at thanksgiving!
Erin’s Dad: You better not piss me off this year.

Chris’s Mom: colonic here i come!
Chris: COME ON

Joe’s Mom: why aren’t you more like perez hilton?

Tim’s Dad: Get a cute gf like Taylor swift
Tim: thanx dad, i’m fine with laura
Tim’s Dad: At least someone is

Andrea’s Mom: i hope you don’t get a brazilian wax i heard you can tear off all your precious bits
Andrea: thx for scaring me now

Parita’s Mom: I can’t believe you have bigger boobs than me!!!!

Dave’s Dad: I don’t think I’d want to time travel or marry a time-traveler. I always have thought that when you teleport if you fart then when you get back together you might be all messed up.

Kate’s Mom: We’re having a low carb thanksgiving. We don’t want to end
up like my sister. Hehe

Randy’s Dad: It’s past your curfew
Randy: ur a shine blocker
Randy’s Dad: What does that mean?
Randy: dont front, I saw you on urbandictionary the other day