Whitney: I’ll be home tomorrow.
Whitney’s Mom: I thought tonight!? I told the dogs tonight.

Jamie’s Mom: You know how the back fat is muffin top, what is the arm fat called?
Jamie: Who is this about?
Jamie’s Mom: Some of the actresses have that fat working.

Erin’s Mom: Alive?
Erin: No.
Erin’s Mom: Uh Oh!

Anthony’s Mom: Answer the phone
Anthony: Can’t right now.
Anthony’s Mom: Why? R u in the middle of sex?
Anthony: Stop being weird

Maggie’s Mom: Can’t believe he picked Vienna! What a scag.

Andrea’s Mom: Call me when you’re finished with your meeting.
Andrea: I told you I was going on a date…not to a meeting.
Andrea’s Mom: Well, you get so upset when I call a guy you just started dating your boyfriend that I figured you wouldn’t call a first date a date.

Kaitlin’s Mom: if they stole your alcohol, i would hide the rest of your valuables in a safe place. did i just put alcohol under the category of valuables? yikes

Ashley’s Mom: You know what numbers I have trouble seeing? zero’s. and eights. and six’s. and threes.

AnnaRose’s Mom: The Cheiftans are Irish. I am going to make you listen to them while you beat your clothes along the rocky banks of the canal

Nicky’s Mom: I wish you stilled lived at home so we could get under a couple quilts and watch soaps all day. Have a happy snow day!

Aunt Becky’s Mom: Well, thank GOD they don’t tattoo babies.

Victoria’s Mom: Who’s that guy you in your picture a few days ago? YOU WERE HUGGING.
Victoria: He’s from the band I went to go see, Stereo Skyline. I told him I liked his performance so he gave me a hug.
Victoria’s Mom: Who??? Why were you hugging? How could you have met him? But… who is he???